Lottery madness.

The lucky person (or group) who won the Feb. 20 Mega Millions lottery jackpot - an annuity value of $239 million - has yet to claim it. Sure, they've got another 5 months in which to come forward, and they're probably off furiously consulting with their tax attorneys and CPAs. But they could still have their attorney call the Lottery office and put in a claim.

Sadly, it's not me. I know because (a) I haven't been within 50 miles of the store where the winning ticket was purchased within the past 18 months, and (b) I checked my ticket again, anyway, just in case. (And not only did I not match all six numbers, I still don't match any of them.)

Doesn't stop me from planning what I'd do with all that money, though. First decision: take the annuity payments or the lump-sum present value? $6 million each year for 25 years ($9.5 million before taxes, or so) or $96 million ($145 million pre-tax) today (and all figures are wild-eyed estimates)? Well, I'm all about instant gratification, and I really don't care about those last 5 or 10 years worth of payments when I'm really old, so I'd go for the big bucket o' money today.

To be excessively responsible, I'd put aside $25 million in blue-chips, utilities, and government bonds, to ensure a happy retirement and to live on until then. And another $5 million would go to giving myself the lifestyle I'd like to become accustomed to: buying a new house or renovating this one, building and stocking a really good wine cellar, building a great little home theater, frequent vacations to the South Pacific, and similar mad-money expenses.

I'd use $5 to 15 million to buy a business to run. A winery, perhaps, or a local or regional microbrewery. Today, I'm leaning towards the latter, and yes, I already have one in mind. And I've got a brewmeister in mind to bring in for it, as well. (Again, not me. It'd be the brewer to whom I've often given the highest brewing compliment I can think of: As much as I like my own beer, I'd rather buy and drink his beer than drink my own.)

But that still leaves a big pile of money to play around with, and to do something useful with. I think I'd do something to support higher education with it. Some would go as an unrestricted grant to my alma mater; some would go to endow chairs in business law and ethics at business schools, initially, at each of the schools I've gotten degrees from; and the remainder would go into a scholarship program. And if I set this up correctly and in the same year I get the big lottery payout, it becomes a great tax deduction off that payout, and the government essentially helps fund the scholarship program even more.

Security, fun, philanthropy. A good mix, I think. Now all I have to do is win the lottery. (Or, I suppose, have someone who's already won the lottery give me all of their money. About equally likely, I think.)