eBay madness.

Someone at work bids a lot on stuff through eBay. (Not the guy who bought an engagement ring there; someone else. By the way, he sent it back.) And she’s often disappointed that she “just loses out” on some things, because “other people have sniping programs” and/or they have high-speed connections. And, you know, if she’d bid just one more time, she’d have gotten the object.

For some reason, I was picked to be the person she approached to talk to about eBay. Perhaps it’s my sincere, trusting face. Perhaps it’s my obvious high-tech expertise. Perhaps it’s that I’m the only one who doesn’t openly laugh at her.

“Do you buy things on eBay? Do you have a sniping program I could use? Or know where I can get one?” Well, yes I do, no I don’t, and no I don’t. I explained the concept of putting in as a high bid the highest amount that you’d be willing to pay for the item, and if someone else bids higher, then congratulations to them: they wanted to pay more for it than you did, and in fact, they did so. She just complained that if she’d only bid one dollar higher, then she’d have gotten it, instead. (Well, unless the other bidder wanted to go higher, too, which of course would never be the case.) I tried pointing out that bidding on eBay was not a contest whereby you become a “loser” if you’re outbid, and that failing to win an auction is not the equivalent of failure at life. She wasn’t buying it: to her, bidding on eBay is a competitive sport, and other people are somehow figuring out ways to cheat her out of the items that are rightfully hers. (You know, like by bidding higher.)

She even got in the last word: “And the sad thing is that I’ve never gotten a great deal on eBay. I’ve always ended up paying too much or buying things I really didn’t want.”