Mystery ingredients.

I know that I've mentioned before that I read the ingredients panels on food. I've found another one.

Nestea has an interesting new product out, Unsweetened Iced Tea Concentrate. I got a sample packet of it a little while ago, and finally mixed it up today. Not bad. Better flavor than instant tea, easier to make iced tea this way than by boiling water to brew the tea from scratch. Not sure I'd go out of my way to buy it again, but I won't put it on my "don't ever buy" list.

The ingredients panel lists: water, tea concentrate [Okay, this means that they brew a more concentrated version of tea and water it down to put into this package. Not sure I understand the theory: why not leave it really concentrated and sell it in a smaller package?], natural flavors, phosporic acid, potassium sorbate (preservative), and caramel color. Wait a minute: they're making concentrated tea, and they feel the need to add coloring to it, like it was a Coke? That just seems wrong.

Perhaps the FAQ at the Nestea Iced Tea Concentrate website will help:

Q: Does this product contain artificial flavors or colors?
A: No, our NESTEA Liquid Concentrate does not contain artificial flavors or colors.

Personally, I'd have thought that putting caramel color into tea was the introduction of something artificial. But what do I know?

Poetry? In this blog?

Not that it happens all that often, but the past couple of weeks, Calvin Trillin's book of poetry is on the NY Times best seller list, appearing tomorrow at number 14.

In response to the news that President Bush was not attending the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq, Mr. Trillin wrote:

At least there's no Bush eulogy
On why they had to die.
It's better that they're laid to rest
Without another lie.

I may have to gouge my eyes out.

I made the mistake of watching a couple of minutes of Johnny McEnroe's talk show last night. And yes, I'd like to know where to write to demand that they give me those minutes back.

Mister Obnoxious was wearing a Lance Armstrong-style yellow jersey (although it seemed to be missing a few of the sponsors' names). No telling why, although perhaps he said something during the opening minutes of the show. In any event, it was the perfect example of why some people should not wear clothing associated with athletes.

Live strong. Wear yellow.

Okay, of late I've been busy. Too busy to post here most nights. But I haven't been to busy to watch the Tour de France this year.

In Monday's Post, Sally Jenkins has an article about Lance Armstrong and what he may choose to do in coming years. (Her guess is that he'll ride the Tour next year, because he would hate to miss it.)

She also talked about his performance in this year's Tour, adding this fascinating note:

He also took the final time trial Saturday in Besancon, despite the fact that he only needed to ride safely to clinch his record title. One of the reasons he streaked across the course so aggressively was that he received a meaningful e-mail reminding him yet again of how much he meant to other cancer patients.

Ten minutes before Armstrong went out to warm up for the final time trial of the Tour in Besancon, he checked his Blackberry, and read a message from a friend at Nike, Scott McEachern. That day, a man had gone into a Niketown store and purchased 500 yellow Live Strong bracelets, which are being sold as a fundraiser by Armstrong's cancer foundation. The goal was to sell them for a dollar apiece and raise $5 million, but $8 million have been sold. The gentlemen who bought a case of 500 had bought them for this reason: his father had just died of cancer. While he was alive, the father had watched every minute of the Tour. His son wanted to give the bracelets out at the funeral.

"I read that literally 10 minutes before I got on the bike to warm up," Armstrong said. "Do you think I was a little motivated?"

Great fun to watch this year. It'll be fun to see what he does next.

I feel safer. Don't you feel safer? I feel safer.

More from the clowns at the Department of Homeland Security, and their assault on the civil liberties of Americans. A photography student taking photographs of the Ballard Locks in Seattle for a class assignment was followed and harassed by Seattle Police and "Special Agents" from the Dept of Homeland Security. On public property, taking photographs of the area's premiere tourist attraction. After having gotten permission to do so from the National Park Service's resident Park Ranger.

The Special Agent showed his special understanding of the law:

"I've listened to this for over five minutes. Look here. You see this?" Special Agent McNamara said, producing his badge. "This is a federal badge. We're not with the rest of them. We're federal agents from Homeland Security...."

He told me that I'd broken the law by not providing my ID to the original investigator (a man who I personally feel has entirely too much power). I told him that I'd asked if I was legally obligated to produce my ID, and that he'd clearly told me "no," but it was obvious that that didn't matter to Special Agent McNamara in the slightest. I was just wrong, and he was just right.

He went on to tell me that the minute I'd photographed federal property, citing the Ballard Locks, the train bridge and the Patriot Act, that I'd, again, broken the law. Of course, I asked why there weren't any signs on that parcel of public property disclosing that photography was forbidden...

The countdown has begun.

With luck, George Lucas won't change the title between now and next May.

Is Bush the Antichrist?

A reasonably thoughtful article asks the provocative question: Is Bush the Antichrist? The author notes the incongruities between Bush's actions and Christian teachings, and concludes: "Bush pretends to come in the name of Jesus Christ and misses no opportunity to exploit Christ for his own personal political advantage. But in every case, Bush has done the opposite of what Christ taught us to do.... Is it possible that Bush is the Antichrist? His Antichrist-like actions make one wonder."

I just send 'em on.

Overheard at Bark Bark Woof Woof:

George W. Bush objects to "four activist judges in Massachusetts" changing the marriage laws of the country, but he has no objection to the five activist justices who made him president.

And this one:

The Republicans rail against trial lawyers like John Edwards, but if it wasn't for a trial lawyer, George W. Bush would still be the governor of Texas.

California can have him.

Good old Ahh-nold. Apparently it appeals to his Waldheim-style of leadership to call California Democrats "girlie men", and to refuse to acknowledge that the remark is sexist and homophobic.

Seems to me to be awfully strong language for someone who appeared in gay porn movies.

Is Bozo the Clown running the Department of Homeland Security?

It sure seems so. Between last week's announcement that they were looking for ways to "postpone" the November elections, and this article which indicates that on-board air marshals are required to dress in suits, so that they're no longer able to blend in with the general flying public (who usually wear jeans, tennis shoes, and no ties). Kind of defeats the purpose of making people wonder whether there's an armed marshal on board if a marginally-alert 10-year-old can identify him.

Do you suppose that Tom Ridge has a squirting carnation in his lapel?

The REAL October surprise.

The Homeland Security Department wants to find out how to "postpone" the presidential election if the election is risked being disrupted by terrorism. And what do you know, last week the head of that department announced that there was a credible threat that the terrorists were going to do "something" designed to disrupt the election. Precisely what, he couldn't say. And not so credible as to cause the Terrorism Traffic Light to change color, or to give anyone any precise - or even vague - instructions on how to guard against this credible threat.

Why don't they just set fire to the Reichstag building and cancel the election and be done with it?

Want a bumper sticker?

Limited offer: Get a Kerry - Edwards bumper sticker. Probably wouldn't hurt to make a contribution, too, as the period in which you can make a private contribution is rapidly coming to an end: when the convention hits, they go onto public funding. So send 'em a check, too.

Wondering what "Dick" Cheney did before he was Veep?

And, God willing, after next January 20? It seems that he made industrial movies.

Okay, probably not something you really want to open at work. Unless you're putting your sound through headphones.

Not that you need another reason.

But if you needed further reason to not watch CNBC, here's one: John McEnroe will have his own talk show. And it will be a "cosmopolitan mix of topical guests, music, art, sports, and a lot of comedy." You know, just like Whiny John himself.

I suppose that CNBC doesn't have all that much to lose by putting The Brat on the air: the business program that currently has the timeslot averages 189,000 viewers. Nationwide. Still, that's 189,000 people that McEnroe has yet to alienate. I predict it'll take about a week.

"Hoop Dreams" retrospective.

Perhaps you recall the movie "Hoop Dreams" that came out about 10 years ago, documenting the lives of a couple of Chicago teens who wanted to become college basketball, and then NBA, players. Great movie, and at the time, the highest-grossing documentary ever (since passed only by two Michael Moore films and "Winged Migration").

The Post has a nice article today, looking at what has happened to those two teens since. Neither made it to the NBA, although one had tryouts scheduled before injury torpedoed his attempts. An interesting "where are they now?" story.

I saw "Hoop Dreams" when it came out; I saw it because Roger Ebert - at one of his shot-by-shot film study seminars at the Virginia Flm Festival - made everyone in the room stand up, raise their right hands, and swear that they would go see "Hoop Dreams" when it came to town, even though it was about basketball, and even though it was a documentary. Apparently enough people took the Roger Ebert Hoop Dreams Pledge that when it came to Charlottesville, the little repertory theater it showed in sold out for all showings, the entire three weeks it was there.

Contract attorneys.

No, this isn't like contracting MLB teams, though some might think that was a fine idea. And it's not how The Mob gets rid of shysters it doesn't like. Instead, a "contract attorney" is what I now am. A temp lawyer, if you prefer. Someone hired by a law firm to do the scut work that they can't even get their own associates to do.

So I'm now doing document review and preparation for discovery in a pair of related investigations - criminal and civil - against a big company accused of doing accounting irregularities affecting stock prices a couple of years ago. (The official line is that everything met generally accepted accounting principles, so it was okay and there was nothing wrong.) The project is a couple of years old, and is expected to go on for another couple of years: that's an idea of how many documents (and by "documents," we also mean emails, PowerPoint presentations, weekly status reports, and notes written on the back of napkins) there are - someplace between tens of millions and squillions. I'm not alone on the project - 25 of us contract attorneys started the same day, on a project that probably had another 25 then working on it, in addition to the "real" lawyers at the firm (partners and associates).

Of course, one of the reasons they brought on 25 on the same day is that they've got a high rate of turnover. Not all that surprising with temps, I suppose. But in addition, it is mindnumbingly dull. I believe I've stayed awake all afternoon exactly once so far, and I think that's about average for my group.

But it pays the mortgage while I look for a job I'm actually interested in, so that's a good thing.

Where *do* they come from?

One of the benefits that the freebie tracking program (which tells me the number of hits I get, when I get them, the domains they come from, that sort of thing) does is that it will tell me the page that a viewer comes from to get to my blog. Most of the time, that's from a search engine results page; the rest of the time, from a link in a blogroll or comment or another blog.

Here are some of the more entertaining searches that people have used to get to this blog:
stoner movies of the 1970's - during my little-known acting period, I guess.
john mcenroe girlfriends 1984 - I would be hard-pressed to care less about this than I currently do
"george will" and "stoner" - What are two phrases rarely heard in the same sentence?
patricia kluge sex - Okay, now I'd rather be interested in Johnny Mac's girlfriends.
I want to see Tatum O Neal put on her perfume - And that makes one of us.
funny stoner quotes - They're all funny, thank you very much.
dirty pretty things explalined [sic] - From the guy who made the Patricia Kluge request, perhaps?
tolkien "full text" "return of the king" - Oh, just go to the bookstore, would you?
is $20 piece double eagle gold remake real - As opposed to imaginary? Yes.
Pricing of permanent tatoos [sic] in Richmond, Virginia
cats constantly meowing
sea monkeys and revenue
Movie plot – retired marine cuts off finger
cat car song "rest stop"

A fair number of wine-related requests:
pat paulsen wine bottle labels
grape stomping clip downloads
stores massachusetts cakebread wine
"wine in a box" high quality "red wine"
winery construction powerpoint presentation
theory on wine festivals
Cardinal point cabernet price
virginia wine cellar installers
torturer naked wires

And other single-minded hobby pursuit requests (in addition to the ones already mentioned):
"hot Lips houlihan" nude picture
Paraminder Nagra nude photographs - some would call her "Parminder", but who am I to argue with Google?
keira knightly nude free no membership
naked foosball california - No further explanation necessary.

I've also learned a fair amount about constructing good web searches, from seeing the unexpected results of these searches. But that's for another day, if ever.

Happy birthday to me.

Well, not to me, precisely, as that would make this November, and I'm not ready for cold weather just yet. But this blog is a year old today.

And an interesting year it's been.

I've found that I enjoy this outlet for writing.

In the past year, I've had 420 entries - slightly more than my goal of one per day. And not that it's been every day; sometimes I'd go 3 or 4 days without an entry; some days I'd have 5 or 6.
-- Another goal was to have at least 1/3 of the entries be reactions to or comments on events, about 1/3 be things about me (or, more interstingly, the cat), and no more than 1/3 be "fun" entries, however I defined that. By my count, the year's entries came out to be about 55% reactions/comments, 28% stuff about me and Mia, and 17% "fun" entries. Not entirely sure what, if anything, that means, as I usually felt that the balance was about right as I was going along. Perhaps I should write more about the cat.
-- One goal was to develop some consistent readership among people I didn't previously know. I know there are a few of you out there; a couple who I've corresponded with and a couple of lurkers. (I'll presume the latter are shy, and aren't just gawking with disbelief. People I already know do that enough as it is.) And a sub-goal was to hook up with a cyberbabe. Well, okay, some of these are "stretch" goals, and can go into next year's list.
-- Another goal was to develop a better understanding of how to design a blog, and I've gone from solely text to including comments and trackbacks, so that you can join in on the excitement, and recently I've started including photos. Baby steps, I know, and enhancements that other people have left behind long ago. But this is my blog, and I'll develop it at my own pace.

And my favorite posting of the year? The first one, about JFK's speech at Rice.

Join Team Armstrong.

And you can do it without having to get onto a bike. You can buy a yellow "Live Strong" wristband for $1, and all of the proceeds go to the Lance Armstrong Foundation, to benefit Foundation programs that help young people with cancer.

You can buy the wristbands at Niketown stores (and related stores: I got mine at a Kid's Foot Locker), or in packs of 10, 100, or 1000 online, direct from the Foundation.

"Dick" Cheney is happy with his wit.

Vice President - and there's an apt title - "Dick" Cheney is pleased with his use of vulgar language, and says that he feels better after doing so. And as no speechwriter has come forward claiming authorship of the quip, we can only assume that the Dickster came up with it himself.

Here are some other things that "Dick" Cheney has said: "I look forward to working with you, Governor, to change the tone in Washington, to restore a spirit of civility and respect and cooperation." So said "Dick" Cheney on the day he was chosen to be George W. Bush's running mate. "The days of the war room and the permanent campaign are over. . . . We take seriously the responsibility to be honest and civil." So said Mr. Cheney in February 2001, in his first major speech as vice president.

His mother must be so proud of him.